Hit the Road

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Hit the Road is a quest progression mission in Canny Valley set in Thunder Route 99. It is required to complete the Please Hold quest. To complete the mission, the player must follow the guide book by exploring the marked areas to discover landmarks. Through Ray reading the guidebook, locations and the background history of Canny Valley are told and explained.

Objectives[edit | edit source]

Show audio players
Intro
Ray.png  Ray:    I've always wanted to leave it all behind and head out on the open road.
Ray.png  Ray:    No schedules. No rules. No responsibilities.
Ray.png  Ray:    ... and figuring out what that massive anomaly at the far end of the Canny Valley is.
Ray.png  Ray:    And why it appears to be growing in size, and why it seems so, so, so angry.
Ray.png  Ray:    I snagged us a guidebook back in Plankerton.
Ray.png  Ray:    The rootin-est, tootin-est, yippie-kayaa-enist, guidebook ever rassled together.
Ray.png  Ray:    That's the title. I'm not like... trying a new thing.
Ray.png  Ray:    According to the guidebook, there's no better way to start your Canny Valley journey,
Ray.png  Ray:    Than by taking in one of the stunning rock formations.

Explore marked area[edit | edit source]

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Exploring the rock formations
Ray.png  Ray:    Those are some nice rocks. Nice tip, guidebook!
Ray.png  Ray:    According to the guide, "This here valley was named after the explorer, Thaddeus Gumption-Smith,
Ray.png  Ray:    Whose party set out in search of the fabled lost city of tin,
Ray.png  Ray:    Which wise thinkers of the age agree did not exist.
Ray.png  Ray:    Thad proved those wise thinkers right, returning from his expedition with only a single tin can...
Ray.png  Ray:    And a horrific tale of survival and cannibal - uh.
Ray.png  Ray:    Can't read the rest. Page is missing.
Ray.png  Ray:    Let's see here... To this day experts are unsure if "Canny" refers to the tin can, or the cannibal-
Ray.png  Ray:    It's the can. The experts all decided it's the can.

Travel to abandoned mine[edit | edit source]

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Ray.png  Ray:    No visit to Canny Valley would be complete without a trip to an abandoned mine!
Ray.png  Ray:    Home to old mining equipment, and the mysterious Creek Cavern Settler Glyphs.

Traveling to abandoned mine

Ray.png  Ray:    Canny Valley was home to many indigenous people, most famously the Creek Cavern Settlers.
Ray.png  Ray:    For years historians have puzzled over a series of glyphs left behind by the Creek Cavern Settlers.
Ray.png  Ray:    What was this strange cipher? A warning? A prophecy? No one can say for sure.
Ray.png  Ray:    Let's explore!

Explore deep mine[edit | edit source]

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Ray.png  Ray:    Shortly after publication of the first edition of
Ray.png  Ray:    The rootin-est, tootin-est, yippie-kayaa-enist, guidebook ever rassled together.
Ray.png  Ray:    The mysterious glyphs were finally translated.
Ray.png  Ray:    The dozens of glyphs were revealed to be variations of the same chilling message.
Ray.png  Ray:    Many prominent explorers and scinetists have been drawn to the mysterious glyphs.
Ray.png  Ray:    Particularly Syd Merrit, a well know Paleo-biologist and former lead singer of Steel Wool.
Ray.png  Ray:    According to Syd's research, the glyphs tell the tale of mankind fighting against extinction.
Ray.png  Ray:    While the cause of the near extinction is unknown.
Ray.png  Ray:    Experts like Syd Merrit are focusing on menacing humanoid figures within the glyphs.
Ray.png  Ray:    Were these attackers from another nation or tribe? Or something more sinister.
Ray.png  Ray:    Following the second publication of... that guidebook.
Ray.png  Ray:    It came to light that earlier translations of the Cavern Glyphs were in fact, a hoax.
Ray.png  Ray:    Let's head back to the civilization.
Ray.png  Ray:    There must be a road around here somewhere.
Ray.png  Ray:    When in Canny Valley, be sure to explore our iconic abandoned junkyard...
Ray.png  Ray:    Which many claim to be haunted by the legendary gunslinger, Blackboot Ayers.

Travel to junkyard[edit | edit source]

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Ray.png  Ray:    To others he was nothing but a scoundrel.
Ray.png  Ray:    Little is known as to why Ayers, formerly a mild mannered horse whisperer, traded in horse talkin for gun slingin.
Ray.png  Ray:    But one thing was for certain, Ayers was out for vengeance, and it was probably horse related.

Finding Junkyard

Ray.png  Ray:    Legend has it Ayers legendary rampage stemmed from the theft of Senor Caballo, his prize stallion.
Ray.png  Ray:    Some say Ayers wanders the desert to this day calling out the deeply unspecific name of his lost horse.
Ray.png  Ray:    Blackboot's rampage popularized the six gun and gun fight culture in Canny Valley.
Ray.png  Ray:    And inspired many stories and folk ballads such as "I Don't Have Your Horse, Mr."
Ray.png  Ray:    "There Ain't No Horse in here I swear." and the classic barn burner "Please, My God, Someone Find Senor Caballo."
Ray.png  Ray:    Oooh. Well now that song makes sense.
Ray.png  Ray:    I always wondered why the singer was so upset.

Ray.png  Ray:    If I had to guess I'd say he's near a truck stop.
Ray.png  Ray:    Let's see what we have here...
Ray.png  Ray:    Found it. I've marked the location on the map.

Travel to truck stop[edit | edit source]

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Ray.png  Ray:    We're here. What's your location, Lars?
Lars.png  Lars:    Floating.
Ray.png  Ray:    Hey Lars. you think Syd could be out here?
Lars.png  Lars:    Uh don't get my hopes up, Little Robot.
Ray.png  Ray:    Not even if I'm seeing tracks from a 78 Softail Mercerado? Of which there are only two in circulation -
Lars.png  Lars:    By in circulation you mean "unexploded."
Lars.png  Lars:    Syd might be the only guy smart enough to fixt the Mercerado's nitro tank.
Lars.png  Lars:    And cocky enough to ride it.
Ray.png  Ray:    But don't get your hopes up. Everything is awful and the world has fallen apart,
Ray.png  Ray:    And good things basically never happen.
Ray.png  Ray:    But when the reunion happens... I get a backstage pass. And a walk on.
Ray.png  Ray:    And you dedicate Sweet Lady Day to me.
Ray.png  Ray:    And Syd has to point me out in the crowd during the bridge and I want a spotlight.
Ray.png  Ray:    And a bandana. Mic stand bandana not from the merch table.
Lars.png  Lars:    Oh if you want a guide to Canny Valley, I'm your man.
Lars.png  Lars:    It's always been a special place for me. For all of us in Steel Wool.
Lars.png  Lars:    Talk about natural beauty, and history! I could teach a course in the local history.
Lars.png  Lars:    Did you know the name Canny Valley comes from a failed expedition that was forced to resort to can -
Ray.png  Ray:    They found a can and that's the story and we don't talk about it.
Ray.png  Ray:    Moving on...
Ray.png  Ray:    Let's head to the desert and see what the guidebook has to say.
Ray.png  Ray:    We're... We're missing a page... Hmmm.
Ray.png  Ray:    Okay, I've located the last page, let's track it down.

Retrieve missing page[edit | edit source]

After arriving to the marked location, the players must defend the guidebook's missing page from a wave of husks.

Show audio players
Ray.png  Ray:    Oh ho ho. No way. No way are we letting husks steal pages from our guidebook.
Ray.png  Ray:    We need to know what's on that page, Commander.
Ray.png  Ray:    Give us back our guidebook you creeps!

After retrieving missing page